May 25, 2020 - this date marks the 12th anniversary of popular K-pop boy group, SHINee. It also serves as a reminder of my decade-long citizenship in the SHINee World (Shawol) - their fandom - and the growth of my identity throughout these transformative years. Times of grief and loss, powerful friendship, new beginnings, and nostalgic returns within this fandom mirror (to some extent) the chapters in my own life. SHINee was not my first boy group stan, but it has been one of the most impactful not only for the emotional rollercoaster ride we were all a part of, but also the beautiful little nuggets of wisdom and encouragement that got me through challenging times throughout high school.

I hate to admit that I fell out of the fandom ever so slightly during their later (most recent) years, but with the group’s full return on the horizon, I think it’s about time I go back to this home/personal sanctuary I have created for myself for the past 10 years.

Welcome to the SHINee World; I’m back!

The Early Years

SHINee debuted on May 25, 2008 as a 5-member Korean boy group, managed by conglomerate entertainment company, SM Entertainment. At the time, the members included Onew, Jonghyun, Key, Minho, and Taemin. I first discovered them when I watched the 2010 Dream Concert, where they performed their new hit ‘Ring Ding Dong’. I remember myself thinking that their song, concept and outfits were weird, but also entertaining the thought that I would probably eventually stan them because I stan their senior labelmates BoA, TVXQ, Super Junior, and Girls’ Generation. I was NOT expecting to become a loyal Shawol.

These early years (almost) mirrored my high school freshman year - a new chapter in my story of navigating and creating my own identity. I was growing to know SHINee as I was growing to know myself.

💎 💎 💎 💎 💎

Replay (2008)

Favourite track: Replay

Still considered one of the best debut tracks in the industry, IMO. At this point in time, I was completely unaware of K-pop’s existence. It’s worthwhile to note that SHINee started off from the bottom (remember, this was a time where technology was not as easily accessible as it is today), handing out lollipops on the street to promote themselves.

Romeo (2009)

Favourite track: Juliette

Not my favourite album (EP) of theirs, TBH. This was kind of an in-between/transitional phase where they weren’t rookies, but also not hugely popular. They (and the company + songwriters) were still in the process of discovering their unique sound and concept. Around this time, I was just getting introduced to K-pop, so my attention was on the more popular groups of the time (i.e. Big Bang, Wonder Girls, Super Junior, and Girls’ Generation).

The Middle Years (AKA Peak Fangirl)

Sherlock (2012)

Favourite track: Honesty

I skipped buying the physical album for this because the concept (and therefore the album covers & photos) weirded me out… The title track ‘Sherlock’ was something that the composers and producers were experimenting with: a mash-up of two other album tracks, ‘Clue’ and ‘Note’. Separately, the tracks aren’t much - they honestly felt like incomplete half-tracks - but together they create something pretty great. To me it represented the symbiosis of life.

The Misconceptions of Us (2013)

Favourite track: Selene 6.23

The compilation album/repackage of the above two albums. I also didn’t get the physical copy for this one because it was essentially the two albums put inside a box with some new goodies… I didn’t have that much money to spare. Something noteworthy is that the lyrics of ‘Selene 6.23’ was penned by Jonghyun, for international Shawols who are distant from SHINee physically but are still supporting them and close to their hearts.

The Later Years

Odd (2015)

Favourite track: An Encore

I promise I did purchase the physical album… I just don’t remember where I put it (it wasn’t with my other SHINee albums, for some reason). This album marked another change in SHINee’s musical style, being more experimental and using a combination of retro and newer sounds. It’s hard to explain, but the change was quite evident for Shawols. During this time, I was going through some exploratory changes as well with university life and all. I’ve been listening to ‘Married To The Music’ now more than before - it’s reminiscent to the ‘Dream Girl’ and ‘Why So Serious?’ era.

DxDxD (Japanese Album) (2016)

Favourite track: Moon Drop

Of all the SHINee albums, I listened to this one the least because: a) I didn’t purchase the physical copy, and b) it wasn’t available on Spotify at the time. I’m not really familiar with any of the songs, to be honest.

Five (Japanese ALbum) (2017)

Favourite track: Winter Wonderland

Another great Japanese album that I was unfamiliar with… note to self: I really need to listen to these newer SHINee albums more! ‘Winter Wonderland’ was the only song I knew from this album (excluding the Japanese version of ‘1 of 1’). They sang ‘Diamond Sky’ at the ‘SHINee World The Best 2018’ concert, and when Minho screamed to the sky “Jonghyun hyung!”… it broke everyone. It was supposed to be a joyful song, but paired with videos of Jonghyun, his voice, and the members’ reactions, it became a really heartbreaking song. Bling Bling Jonghyun = the diamond in the sky. This was the last full album that SHINee released with Jonghyun before his untimely death.

The Story of Light + Epilogue (2018)

Favourite track: Our Page

This album is full of amazing tracks, but just doesn’t feel right at all without Jonghyun’s vocals. I tried to follow this comeback closely, but would always be brought to tears… I couldn’t listen to or watch any old SHINee tracks because I was still grieving. It’s interesting that this album was being released in waves while I was completing my Music Therapy internship in palliative care, where I was constantly surrounded by grief and loss, but also by peace. I hope that this album gave Onew, Key, Minho, and Taemin the closure and peace they needed after all the sadness. They were able to convey their final messages to Jonghyun through the lyrics they penned themselves, with a beautiful and sentimental tribute M/V to top it off. Side note: their title tracks for this album feature yet another sound for the group with some deep house vibes.

Compilation Album: SHINee The Best From Now On (Japanese) (2018)

The title track of this compilation album, ‘From Now On’, is a greatly sentimental one for Shawols as it is the final SHINee song to feature Jonghyun, and the first release after his death. The remaining four members performed this track as an encore stage for their ‘SHINee World The Best 2018’ tour as a tribute to their fallen comrade. Until this day, I cannot summon the courage nor the strength to watch the performance in its entirety, let alone the concert. It’s probably the most heart-wrenching thing for a Shawol…

To wrap things up…

It’s been 12 years since SHINee graced this world with their presence as a k-pop group, and 10 years since I entered the fandom. Many of my transformative years were walked alongside SHINee and their own journeys as a group and as individuals. They’re supposed to be making their much-anticipated comeback sometime in the latter half of the year after Onew, Key and Minho are discharged from the military. But before then, Shawols will be blessed with a Taemin comeback - he’ll certainly be busy this year with both these comebacks AND with a SuperM comeback! His positive attitude and work ethic still makes him one of my two favourite k-pop artists.