Getting To Know 'YOU' & Getting To Like 'YOU': Part 1

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How many of you can say that you take time in your life every day to actively think about and reflect upon who you are as a person, what you want in life, how your heart and mind work, etc. etc.? Not me... the only time I really do that is if I absolutely have to for an assignment (*cough* music therapy paper *cough*), or if a friend poses the discussion first. 

Going into real-life music therapy clinical experience next term, away from my closest friends, I know I will be facing some existential moments where I question myself, as well as some difficult situations that come up during the job. I found some nice prompts about self-discovery and growth via Pinterest because I have no idea where to start on the journey of re-discovering myself for this new chapter in life. I will be starting to post my answers to these questions on the blog, so you get to know me better, I get to know myself better, and hopefully, something will spark something in you that will inspire you to do the same. This is something a little scary for me to do, because I know all my friends and family read this blog; I will be opening up myself, and putting myself in a vulnerable position, but that is something that must happen for every individual to learn about themselves and to embrace who they are.

The first set of questions I will be (bravely) answering I got from Lavendaire. There are 30 on this list, and I have decided to split them up into three weeks, 10 questions per week, just in time for the New Year.

My Current Room, RE: Question #3 | ebbony&lune

1. How do you feel at the moment?

A little nervous for my jury, and tired (it is currently 1:30AM, and I have been on campus practicing for the last 3 hours). My mind is also wandering a lot to the future, which hasn't happened in a while... I also feel a sense of calm from my music and pride, because I'm finally feeling the connection, and they have never been played better.

2. What do I need more of in my life?

 The first thing that comes into my mind is a good balance of social life and time to myself; as an extrovert, I thrive off in-person social interaction and it completely energizes me. But because of this, I tend to neglect spending time alone (I guess it will be the opposite starting this January though). I'm also craving some more adventure and excitement, exploring new places and activities, some spontaneity... maybe I'll try something out of my comfort zone or at least something novel these next couple days.

3. What would make me happy right now?

A nice hug. Also, sitting in my room, candles burning, fairy lights on, with a cup of herbal tea (or maybe a glass of moscato), watching a feel-good movie with a special friend. And then having late-night talks, those are always the best!

4. What is going right in my life?

I scored a really great music therapy internship position at a famous health centre/hospital; I have been blessed with the greatest friends I could ever ask for; my family is completely supportive of everything I do; I am taking up spiritual practices again; I am curious about the world, and learning more every day; I am healthy, both mentally and physically; and I inspire others through my music, writing, and being. 

5. What am I grateful for? List at least 10 things.

1. Friends & family
2. An education
3. My dog
4. Warmth
5. WiFi + devices that connect to it + access to information
6. Music (yes, so clichΓ©) - especially Spotify Premium (only $0.99 for 3 months before 2018 rolls in!)
7. Essential oils
8. Jackbox Party Pack 2 (& 3)
9. Beer
10. Snow

6. When did I experience joy this week?

I went to a local swing dance class for the first time and had the most fun I've had in the last few weeks. It was quite refreshing to try something new with somebody who means a lot to me, following a week of burnout and amidst the busyness of essay-writing and jury prep. We were able to let loose and enjoy ourselves, being dancing goofballs. It also felt great to be involved in a form of dance again. I would definitely say that being adventurous and trying new (or rare) experiences with the people I love make me the happiest.

7. List all my small victories and successes.

ALL is a bit extreme and impossible to list, but some of my recent victories and successes from the last week or so are:

- Completing my fourth year/grad recital and capstone project with a fair degree of success
- Submitting my paper at 11:55PM, 4 minutes before the deadline (*phew*)
- Organizing and running a successful Church Christmas dinner/dance/party
- As of tonight, memorizing my Rachmaninov prelude & playing it well
- Getting back to eating and sleeping well
- Getting back into daily prayer 

8. What's bothering me? Why?

The uncertainty of what is going to happen the next few weeks, and in the coming new year, as I leave university and most of my closest friends for my full-time internship in Toronto. I'm really sad to be leaving, and haven't fully come to terms or accept that this is my last week living in this city where so many of my fondest memories and friendships were created. Since I am a very social person, it will be a difficult change going back home where things are not as easily accessible as they are here, and where I can't stay out at night with friends. And then there's the whole bit about independence - I'm not quite ready to move back home when I've been on my own for the last 3 years...

9. What are my priorities at the moment?

As of right now, preparing for my fourth year (and final) jury, which I have been neglecting because of my paper. And then creating memorable, mindful moments during my final week here, spending time with my treasured friends.

10. What do I love about myself?

Oh, now we're getting to the deep stuff. I love that I am: kind, empathetic, authentic, diligent, creative, down-to-earth, dependable, brave, optimistic, strong, self-aware, confident (for the most part), good, resilient, smart, and loving.